My April's Fools Day List

Planking, out!  Noynoying, in!

Filipinos have this unexplainable penchant for making lists. There's wish list during the traditional monito-monita. There's the so called New Year's resolution list which is, more often, a useless and futile exercise.

For whatever their worth, making a list will forever be "In" in Filipino culture.

Not to be outdone, I made my own April's Fools Day list. Here is what I've come up with:

1. PeNoy proves to be the most hardworking Filipino president. Moreover, he's te hands-on type; one you can rely to be where the action is. Remember the Luneta hostage-taking? The numeruos tropical storms? And most recently, the social unrest brought about by skyrocketing prices of fuel.
2. Philippine economy has taken off! All one needs to do is glean on the figures - employment rate, growth rate, business confidence. Remember, numbers don't lie.
3. Due to the transparency and positive investment outlook, foreign companies are lining up to place money and set up business in the Philippines. If you want the facts, go straight to the library of the Department of Trade and Industry. Apparently, the said library has a Fiction Section.
4. PeNoy's crisis management council is composed of able and professional practitioners. It is not true that PeNoy employs sister Krissy and his not so appealing girlfriend, Grace Lee, to take care of crises.
5. Food shortage, especially rice, is a thing of the past under PeNoy's administration. From now on, there will be bumper harvests that will enable the country to export to China, the world's largest consumer of rice.
6. PeNoy will lead the Cojuangco clan in distributing Hacienda Luisita to the suffering and hunger-stricken tenant-farmers. As a token of goodwill and generosity, the farmers will also be paid Ps. 1 milliion per hectare.
7. And finally, Krissy will enter the nunnery. She has chosen to join the order of the Pink Sisters.